


How Life Plays Out

by sharingoxygenwithyou



Category: Shameless (US)
Genre: Bipolar Disorder, M/M, Post-5x12
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-04-27
Updated: 2015-04-27
Packaged: 2018-03-26 01:15:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,501
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3831748
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sharingoxygenwithyou/pseuds/sharingoxygenwithyou
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Because tonight, his mind was finally ready to realize things.</p>
            </blockquote>





	How Life Plays Out

**Author's Note:**

> Just a drabble I couldn't keep out of my mind. Also, this is the first thing I ever wrote for this ship and fandom. Every.  
> Enjoy! Warning: I did not proofread this.

Contrary to popular belief, Ian Gallagher was not a better person without Mickey Milkovich in his life. He was traveling the road of sadness without him by his side. He was freezing in the sun and burning in the rain without Mickey. His Mickey. He was empty without him and he felt paper thin, as if, even his own breath was enough to blow him away to the clouds. 

 

Mickey was probably the best thing that ever happened to his life. 

 

It was strange, Ian always though, love was something that you needed to plan but with Mickey, everything came falling into his lap. It didn't take one look for forever to be laid in front of him, however, he always found himself longing for Mickey's touch. That was when he knew he was hooked. 

 

But then he had to ruin everything. Guess it just showed how much he knew about how life played out. 

 

Emotions were like an endless storm chasing a mystery, with so many uncertainties, but he was sure about one thing. He fucking loved Mickey fucking Milkovich. He made a mistake. But would Mick really take him back? After pain, heartache and torment?  
Maybe yes. Maybe no.

 

Either way, he needed to find out. He needed him tonight, he needed him in his sight, and most importantly, he needed him in his life. His life was his own ruin without a pair of sharp blue eyes and pale skin. 

 

He wanted to scream in silence. 

However, his mind kept telling him to shut up. Mickey would never take him back. He was stupid for even thinking about it. Mickey was better off without him dragging him down. 

Those irrelevant thoughts kept running through his head, but in his heart, all he could remember was they were alive and happy. Maybe he still had a chance to salvage his relationship with Mickey. 

All he needed to do was say sorry and probably plead on the ground of forgiveness, but he was willing to. Anything for Mickey. 

 

And with that in thought, he managed to dial Mickey's number and press call. 

 

Ring after ring - nothing. He wasn't picking up. 

 

It didn't surprise Ian. Of course Mickey was mad. He had every right to be. 

But that didn't stop him. 

 

He kept calling. 

Day after day.

Until days transformed into weeks. Still no answer. 

But he still kept calling. 

 

Until one day, someone finally picked up. 

 

"Hello?" Ian's voice was hopeful. But instead of Mickey's voice, her heard someone else's. A familiar one but it wasn't what he hoped to hear.

"Ian?" Mandy asked, "What do you want?"

"Mick..." He breathed. He hasn't spoken to Mandy since she barged into his room, not bothering at knocking. She was pissed at him for breaking up with her brother, and Ian received one hell of a scream lecture but after she cooled down, she sat next to him on the bed and hugged him. Because even if she was Mickey's sister first, she was also Ian's best friend. "Is Mickey there?" His voice was shaky from anticipation.

"Uhh.. He's not here." She answered. "How are you? Taking your meds?"

Ian's heart sank a little. " Y-yeah." He replied, he knew that if he wanted Mickey back he needed to take his meds and be stable. "I'm alright. Mandy, where's Mickey?"

The line was a silent for a moment, Mandy probably having a mental debate with herself. 

"He's out with Iggy for a job." She replied, her voice timid. "Ian, look. Mickey, he doesn't want you calling him anymore. If I were you, I'd stop. Please. For both of your sakes. Ian, please." She pleaded and in the middle of her words, Ian could hear her voice break. 

"But Mandy -"

"I'm sorry Ian but I have to go," She cut him off, "I'll come by to visit on Saturday. Is that alright?"

"Sure, Mandy." He tried his best to sound happy but his heart was swallowed by sadness that he certain it didn't work. "Sure."

 

It was a month later and Ian finally gave up calling. 

 

He tried his best to focus on other things. Going back to school, finding a job, spending time with his family and taking his medication. 

Weekly appointments with doctors and psychiatrist. 

Everything was on track.

 

Until one day, the door of the diner where Ian was working swings open with the sound of a small bell, that he was instantly plastered on the floor. 

 

It was Mickey. 

His Mickey. No! He wasn't his anymore. 

He was just a strange now. A stranger whom he had known in a past life. 

 

Ian looked down and continued his duties of busting tables when he felt someone stand next to him. He prayed that it was a costumer or one of the other staff. But no, when he looked up, it was him.

"Hey, can we talk?" Mickey's voice was music to Ian's ears. 

"Why?" 

"Please, Ian." 

He looked at him and nodded. Ian looked back to one of his co-workers, signaling that he was taking his break early. 

 

They headed outside to the front of the dinner, before Ian stopped and waited patiently for Mickey to speak. He knew he should be the one talking about his tongue was busy pushing its way to the back of his throat.

 

"Missed ya..." The words were familiar enough but sounded strange. 

"Why now?" It was the first thing that came out.

"I don't know," Mickey answered, looking everywhere except at Ian. "Needed time."

"I understand." Ian replied with a nod, crossing his arms in front of his chest. After another moment of silence, he couldn't take it anymore. "Is that all because-"

"No!" He shouted, "That's not all. Ian, we fucking need to talk."

"Then fucking talk!" 

The look on Mickey's face made Ian regret his choice of words. 

"Ey, don't come yelling at me like that." He said in a firm tone, "You're the one off the fucking walls. You're the one who fucking broke up with me."  
Ian was jailed with anticipation waiting for Mickey to say something to him, to talk to him, and now he finally got it, he was now hearing a song of memories, following black leather footsteps. 

"I've been taking my meds," He finally said after a moment, "I still hate them but I take them."

"Good," Mickey nodded.

Another moment of silence followed and Ian couldn't help the words fall from his mouth.

"I take them for you."

"What?"

"I take them for you," He repeated, "Maybe if I'm okay, you'll-"

"Don't fucking do that, man." Mickey interrupted. 

"Huh?"

"Don't take your pills because of me," He explained, "I don't want that."

"Then what do you fucking want?!" Anger rose inside him as he voice did.

"I want you to take your meds for you, asswipe!" His unfiltered words were what made Ian listen even more. "I don't want you taking your fucking meds because or for me. I want you to take your meds because you want to. Because you need them, Ian! Goddammit!" 

"I'm sorry," It was the only he could think of saying. He stared at his feet. "Fuck, I'm sorry. For everything."

"No, don't do that." Mickey said, "Don't feel fucking sorry for yourself again. Stop that shit."

"Mick..." He looked up, "I'm sorry."

This time, Mickey was quiet because with everything said and done, he knew Ian was sorry. And so has he. 

He was so sorry for all the answered calls and messages. He was sorry for the time wasted being apart but he knew with his eyes wide shut, that even with how many excuses he made up, it was what they both needed. 

"Fuck!" Ian said, "I screwed up big time, didn't I?"

"Y-yeah, man." He agreed. "But it's in the past now. No need to cut off our fucking heads over it."

"So you forgive me?" He hope in his voice was apparent. 

"I-I don't know," He answered truhtfully, making Ian wince internally. "Maybe."

"Alright, fair enough." Ian laughed, fake and false. Even Mickey knew it. "I need to go back inside, nice talking to you again, Mick."

"Yeah, yeah." Mickey nodded, "I'll see you around."

The question mark was heard even though he tried his best to hide the fickleness in his own mind. 

"Of course," Ian smiled, before turning back to return inside of the diner. 

 

That night, while Ian sat on the couch, recalling his conversation with Mickey earlier, he decided to try his luck and dial-up his number.

The sound of ringing brought him an odd sense of familiarity. 

After a few rings and still no answer, Ian was ready to give up but then he heard someone answer. 

"Hello?" His voice was small.

"Ian? H-hey?"

Ian couldn't help the smile on his face after hearing Mickey's voice because he knew - he fucking knew- that this was the start of them again. 

It was the beginning of their story once more.

**Author's Note:**

> Follow me on tumblr: http://shadowsandsecrecy.tumblr.com/


End file.
